January 2010
15 posts
Find Your Voice . . .
Apparently every writer has a voice. That makes sense unless they’re deaf, dumb or had their throat slit by the mob. My voice sounds like a cross between James Earl Jones and Darth Vader … if they lived in the South … and stuttered when they got drunk … I’m not sure what I should make of this, or how its likely to dictate what I write.
Tumblr Time In Asia?
Perhaps 3AM Pacific is Tumblr time in Asia? I can’t help but notice that a billion asian Tumblr pages start scrolling across the Popular screen about then. Hmmmm … useful information. I’ll just stash that in the mental rolodex.
BLOG POST OF THE DAY
pensitivity ©
careeese—:
i was just thinking…….business is tough . the deeper i get into it the more i feel thankful that my parents have taught me soo freakin much . like honestly if i wasnt tryingg to be a bilingual lawyer i wouldn’t need college to make great money…i just wish it didnt require so much patience…and involve so many freaking frauds and lollygaggers, i take mines serious,...
Whether Underground
This wind and rain is banging on my neighborhood like Hurricane Katrina right now. I just looked down and there’s water rushing in under my kitchen sliding glass door. There’s a levee about a half mile away. I need it to break and I need to figure out a way to set up a text message donation scheme that flows into my personal checking account. Sort of like Wyclef.
There I Said It.
I hate Conan O’Brien, Jay Leno and anyone who likes them. I wish they, their suck ass shows and their followers would disappear from the face of the earth forever.
TERRORIST (or, Everything's Better on Trampolines)
I was going to write this whole post about how I took my kids to this trampoline gymnasium this weekend with a dodgeball court, how I stepped on the court and heard some little 12-year old fucker say “terrorist” under his breath when I stepped on the court (thanks full bushy beard), how I tried to tag the shit out of him with a dodgeball but ended pegging some 5 year old in the face...
New Year's Resolutions
Decided to quit smoking cigarettes and quit drinking for my New Years resolution (original, right?). So far so good, except for one slip up a couple days ago (ironically, the day my kids came up for the weekend). I figure I can’t chain smoke and binge drink much longer without really fucking myself up, and since I have nothing to do … this seemed like a good year to actually stick to...
Who's Job Was It To Make This?
Guess Who Got Out of Prison Today? →
Okay, obviously, of course you’re going to guess right when I’ve put three pictures of the same person up. Mystikal - the man right chea - DANGER - Shake Ya Ass - himself is out of jail. Now I can also get stoned and memorize his lyrics and yell them at people. Martin Luther King week is gonna be SWEET.
Seriously, though. This is great. One of the fathers of nonsense rap...
Dear Girlfriend,
Thanks for blowing up my spot. That was really awesome of you. Probably why I’m so in love with you. In the future, please refrain from digital hijinx such as this.
Sincerely,
The guy downstairs looking at internet porn while you’re asleep with the dog
How's this?
You: “Why don’t you write something on your blog that sucks so bad?”
Me: “Fuck off.”